You know sometimes you are just so really tired from all the nonsense that you just want to get away from everything? I got so much nonsense at work today, people calling in to complain about stuff that has nothing to do with me, and yet wants me to investigate what went wrong (!!) What the hell tau. I don't normally raise voices at the customers / clients / whatever you call them, but today I got so exasperated at this woman that I raised my voice and she did too and it was just so annoying that I put the phone away from my ear when she was talking. When I heard silence, I started talking again. Geram betul ah. Then she started being sarcastic "ooh i don't work at (insert name of company i work for) so I don't know what went wrong"

Kepala hotak dia. What went wrong happened at your company.

And there's another matter with another vessel, and the people involved are just pushing the matter from one person to another, and it's irritating me. And then they brought the matter up with the boss, which was really unnecessary because it's something that they can solve themselves. There's this guy who kept emailing mass replies to everyone "we following dept head instructions please pay before 6pm etc etc etc" without any punctuation marks or proper sentence structuring. Things like these irritate me so much tau!

And it's only 11am.

I don't normally bitch about work, coz I do love this job, and I'm always thankful for it. While the work is quite mundane and repetitive (which job isn't??) the pay is good and the work environment is really cool, but sometimes when things go wrong, they really go wrong. You suddenly get people screaming from left and right, and there will be fines and charges incurred and it suddenly gets so chaotic, you just want to scream! *cue "Untitled" by Simple Plan*

So what I did was I sms Mazreen telling him everything. Hoping he can shine some light into my dark cave. (sounds vulgar eh? haha)

He didn't reply.

I wonder if he's sleeping or busy.

EH HE JUST CALLED.
Telepathy or what?

*5 min pause*

OK dah hang up. Dia call just to make noise about last night. AAARRGH annoying tau. Kenapa today such a bad day ni!!

I want to disappear from here, and hop on a boat to Bintan and sit at that hammock forever... if I have money.

Unfortunately I don't so I'm stuck in S'pore.

I'm so tired la of everything. I'm not made for all these kind of nonsense, I get very tired very easily. I just want to disappear and never face the world again.

Yes I do realise that's not possible, nor do I want it to be possible. Because if it is possible, then I would do it and doing it is not good for the soul.

Mazreen's behaviour and thoughts are so baffling sometimes.

And for goodness sake someone just farted in the office!!!
DON'T THEY KNOW THAT THIS IS AN AIR-CONDITIONED PLACE???? BOLEH MAMPOS AH KERJA DGN ORANG BODOH MACAM NI!!!

Mabuk seh kepala. Seriously lethal fart. Even Mazreen's farts aren't this smelly.

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So like I said, I'm tired.
I feel like I'm hanging off a cliff and all these people are stepping on my fingers one by one so I'll fall off.

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We had planned saturday's date last night, a good convo before a horrible hanging up.

The plan is to donate blood (teehee!), eat at Arnold's, and then go out with his friend watch Star Wars, and perhaps dinner after that.

It's been a long time since we had an argument-free date, so I was really looking forward to this Saturday.

At this moment though I'm not. Looking forward to saturday, that is. I am scared we'll argue again. Because like I mentioned above, I'm tired and I don't know just how much more I can take. Not only from Mazreen. It's the combination of eveyrthing you see. Even small things seem like one huge boulder right now that I have to push off somewhere to advance in my life, but I'm so tired to push it right now.

I wish I can say I'm contented having that boulder in front of me for the moment so I can just sit back for a moment and take stock, but I'm not.

I feel like paying someone to roll that boulder over me.

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I hate feeling this way lah.