It is supposed to get easier. Third trip, I should get used to the whole him-not-being-around-for-a-month-or-two feeling already.

But I'm not! I'm still so sedih, takde selera nak makan, I honestly feel like I want to hurl myself at his knee and drag him to my house and keep him under my bed for one month.

I reallyreallyreally don't want him to go, because I want to celebrate my engagement anniversary with him, I want to celebrate my birthday with him, and most of all I want know that my best friend and fiance is within reach all the time. And I don't want to worry endlessly whether he's ok or not there, with the cold and whatnots.

MEREPEK KAN. He's a grown-up already, he knows how to take care of himself, and it's not as if he's backpacking around the world alone. Plus it's only for a month, so I ought to be ok with this.

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I feel like running to the toilet now, and cry :(