I woke up this morning, feeling reallyreally down and shitty, and didn't feel like facing the world at all. Depression? hehee. I think its just stress.. or rather, job burnout.
Are you experiencing job burnout?
Do work activities you once found enjoyable now feel like drudgery?
Have you become more cynical or bitter about your job, your boss or the company?
Are non-work relationships (marital, family, friendships) affected by your feelings about work?
Do you find yourself:
- dreading going to work in the morning?
- easily annoyed or irritated by your co-workers?
- envious of individuals who are happy in their work?
- caring less now than you used to about doing a "good job" at work?
Are you:
- regularly experiencing fatigue and low energy levels at your job?
- easily bored with your job?
- depressed on Sunday afternoons thinking about Monday and the coming week?
If you answered yes to five or more of the above, you may be suffering from job burnout.
(Adapted from Recognizing Job Burnout The Counseling Corner by the American
Counseling Association, written by Audrey L. Canaff)
I sound like as if I'm trying to make it worse than it actually is, because to me, job burnout usually happens to someone who has worked the same job for.. manymany years. I have just done this new post for 2 mths, and already I’m suffering from burnout? A bit cheem kan.
Tapi, it's true. This morning I just felt like not facing the world, and I even had thoughts that if I kena.. *whisper* buang kerja, *normal voice again* I'm ok with it. I'm just so tired of shitty things going on there.
So I took MC. And I slept it off. Woke up at 12, bathed, sat around reading, then at 2pm, I used the car and went to the clinic at Tampines. Got one day MC - I said I had period pains.
Bought food from Mcdonalds, and went to meet Mazreen at his work place during his break at 3pm. We talked about stupid things, and then I asked him for ideas on where to go - I don't feel like going home.
He said go to the pond and feed his turtles for him, please. Even gave me money for bread.
So he went back to work, and I went to Shell, and bought a loaf of bread and drove off to the pond.
It was a good idea to go there, it was very tranquil, I don't see a single human being, and it was very quiet - so that's good for thinking.
Farah called when I was 3/4 thru the loaf of bread. There were all these cute small turtles and fishes fighting for my bread.. I felt so wanted, haha.
I answered Farah's call, and while talking to her, I saw a black crow hovering very near me. Like, 4 metres away.
I hentak my kaki on the wooden boards of the bridge, and the crow hopped backwards, one step backwards.
But more crows came. All came swooshing down at me. I started screaming. This is sungguh not what I needed.
Farah was still talking about books sold in MPH to my left ear, and I was walking backwards, towards the opposite direction of the car, and using my right hand to randomly throw bread into the pond, while clutching the Gardenia loaf in my left armpit.
It was very kecoh. More crows started coming, all of them looking so serious and dengan penuh semangat nak attack my armpit like that, so I started running and running and running … one whole huge round back to my car.
I was still screaming randomly now and then. Hahaha.
Got into the car and let Farah continue talking. By then we have moved on to talking about my job, and she gave good advice - so I might take it up. Sadly it’s the same advice that Maj has been giving me - that is, to talk to the boss, tell him what’s happening.
I might do that tomorrow.. I dunno. I'm just so confused. If I don't have commitments like the wedding next year, I can go. But now I can't because I need the bonus.
Sigh.
Anyhoos, while talking to Farah, I started being clever, and rolled down the window and started throwing small pieces of bread to the small birds outside. Those cute small ones, I dunno their name. Sekali, the crows came back. More and more and more - there were all crowding right next to the car! Aku punya takut, mcm nak meletop kat situ.
It didn't make sense to be scared, because my windows were already up, and the doors were locked, haha.
Farah told me to drive off, which I did, and we hung up because I didn't have a earpiece with me.
So much for tranquillity and peace of mind. If those birds had attacked me just now, I so wouldn't be blogging right now. Sobs. (hehe)
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Mazreen's parents and 2 eldest siblings are coming over on Monday, to discuss the wedding!! Mazreen's mom just called just now, wanted to talk to my mom, but my mom was out, so I spoke to her instead and she told me and I think I sounded too super happy and excited, haha.
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About my job … I might be talking to the boss tomorrow, I'm not sure. Pray for me that it'll be ok.
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I think I shouldn't have transferred over last time la. Sigh.
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