Hari Raya this year wasn't really good. First half felt really surreal, like "I can't believe it's already Hari Raya!" and the 2nd half (or rather, just night time) felt ... sad. In fact, I'll go as far as to say it's one of the worst 1stday hari raya ever.

We went to paternal's side side first. It was fun, talking to cousins and eating and talking to uncles about weddingy stuff too. They kept harping on how next year, it'll be different.

Went to my grandma's house at around 7.30pm. Maj reached about 8.15pm. I wore black, he wore dark blue, complete with kain samping and all, so cute la. Falee's fiancee also came, with her parents (they are in S'pore for Hari Raya this year) Ate, laughed, sat around with cousins...

and then when it came to the yearly picture-taking thing, my grandma didn't feel good. She said she needs to lie down... so my uncle brought her to her room and massaged her a bit. And she fell asleep.

So we didn't have that huge family picture that we take every year, because my grandma was asleep. Took family by family pictures - but they are in the camera at home.

After that, we all went back. My grandma was still asleep so we didn't disturb her, coz she said she was really tired.

The moment I reached home, I bathed.

Then my mom knocked on the door ,asked me to take care of Liza, because she needs to go back to Nenek's house.

I asked for what.

She said Nenek is very sick.

And then she walked off.

So I bathed secepat mungkin, and came out of the toilet. My mom was crying, talking to Kak Yanti on the phone. I was scared but I did't want to make things worse by crying too u know.

I asked my mom what happened, she said Nenek have been vomitting and diarrhoea-ing. In bed. They wanted to send her to hospital but she doesn't want. Clinic is ok.

So they went to meet everyone back there and sent my grandma to hospital. I felt so helpless at home. I wanted to follow but Liza is schooling this morning and she needs to sleep so someone has got to stay at home with her. By then it was 11.30pm.

I called Mazreen to talk, to take my mind off this because I was so worried, I was just sitting on the sofa upright. But I cdn't even talk, I started crying. And Maj, kesian dia kat kdkopi with his friends but had to console me.

My grandma has always been a very strong woman tau, honestly. She's 82 this year and she's still strong - I can't even remember the last time she went to visit the doctor. Whenever people ask her to rest, she would brush them off and cook la, go market la, etc etc. Lately she's been kindof losing her hearing - so you got to raise your voice really loud to talk to her.

But she's still so cute u know.

I was so scared something might happen last night.

My mom reached home about 12ish, said that the doctor said it's gastric (?? does gastric cause diarrhoea?) and gave my grandma medication to stop it.

As of this morning, it still hasn't stopped.

So you see, this Hari Raya doesn't really feel like one because I've never been worried like this ever on Hari Raya. Hari Raya has always been a happy day.. you know what I mean?

Pray for her health please? Thanks.