I feel so stressed out today.

Bali plans has been cancelled bcoz Maria won't be able to take long leave anytime before National day.

Mazreen is stuck at kranji camp and he's pissed off and no matter what I say he's still pissed off that he's at kranji camp. and i get pissed off if i can't help.

im pissed off also at the fact that M is going to India on 6th feb and this weekend he's not free, and next weekend I'll be kinda busy and then the week after that is our engagement and the week after that he's off to India already! I cannot take this. I have this mental image of him going off at the airport and not seeing him for TWO months and I'm tearing up already. And I can't tell him this bcoz he's happy to be going India so i want to be happy for him too, but it's so hard, does anyone understand that? People always think these NS men have it hard, but they forget what the gfs go through. No I'm not complaining. I just feel like crying because I feel like I have the weight of the universe on my shoulders and no one understands what I'm going through and on top of it all, I am NOT going Bali!!

Omg I'm getting hysterical (in my mind) so this feels really psycho.

I cannot take this lah.
I haven't felt lonely for a really long time and I'm feeling it now and it's not a good feeling.